Let's begin at negative one.

I am:
•Adaptation.
•When Harry Met Sally
•Lost in Translation
•Annie Hall
•Die Hard
•Kill Bill
•Pulp Fiction
•Groundhog Day
•The Shawshank Redemption
•Eternal Sunshine
of the Spotless Mind

Well, I was, unto today. I don't have anything to amend that list with except to say "there I was." What you have in front of you is a map with a line that stretches out, and squeezes within itself like an earthworm on the move. "There I was" refers to the canyon leading to the spot of where I am now. There's an etched, hand-drawn line moving away from me. It's labeled "where I will be." The lines are light--tentative. It's just a guess.

I'm optimistic. I was raised to prepare for the worst and hope for the best. Now I just do my best and let the of rest of it run its coarse. I don't like optimism. There's a wary, lack of confidence, lazy quality to that attribute that I've never enjoyed. When I do my best I do as much as I can and forgot the rest; if I can't affect it I won't worry about it. Worry is the opposite of progress.

I don't know what I am just now, not totally. I sense a culmination of various pasts and parallel presents, but beyond that is ... chance.

This is what I want: one place to find me. Not "school me" or "work me," just ME. My identity has been divided into too many disparate parts, and all I want is that canyon to become canon and for "where I will be" to be thick with no apologies or fears. If there's anything I wish for my future, it's for it to continually surprise me.

I'm just too ignorant to be omniscient.